Advice For Men- From A Woman With Plenty Of Experience!
Advice For Men- From A Woman With Plenty Of Experience!

Bonus: The state of attraction and... LIFE, in 2021

Email sent: Jan 15, 2021 7:40pm

Clutter may rob us of the life we imagined or prevent us from creating a new vision for our future.

- Lisa J. Shultz, Lighter Living: Declutter. Organize. Simplify.


Bonus review....

Hello members,

I originally launched my first attraction/dating website in late 2004, going into 2005. My focus then was much more on aspects of dating, sex and attraction for single men, than it was on lifestyle design, combined with attraction and character for both single and married men, as it is currently. When I first began, the era (and oftentimes stigma) of a man either owning or being able to afford the large house, drive a luxury vehicle, and possess a showoff lifestyle to attract women was the time. That epoch was much more focused around high-end timepieces, name brand clothing and all of the material aspects apparently required to showboat and speak of your life in vainglory.

But times have changed, I'm happy to say. Especially over the past eight or so years, an increasing amount of younger adults emerging into the real world, and even older adults simply exasperated of being restricted by possessions, are taking a different approach to home ownership and lifestyle design....

A good percentage of younger adults are now much more prone to upcycle a used piece of furniture or a vintage item, than they are to take themselves to a furniture store. I'm also filled with optimism witnessing how some 20-somethings and earlier 30-somethings are interested in gardening, canning, foraging, fishing, farming and home cooking. Furthermore, a greater percentage are pursuing the outdoor lifestyle and camping, rock climbing, kayaking, cycling, trail running, fly fishing, and more.

Now, of course, this is somewhat of a geographical statement, as lifestyle desires and design is (overall) different in markets such as New York City or Los Angeles, among others. However, even then, there have been movements towards rooftop gardens, hydroponic gardening indoors, farmers markets, organic foods, home cooking, rock climbing gyms, and more outdoor opportunities.

At the current time, the large brick house lodged within a subdivision is out, and the tiny home is in vogue. Downsizing has been made the cool thing to do. Upcycling and reusing is now the rage, versus taking yourself to the local mall or big box store for something contemporary (usually made in China).

Towards the end of 2020, I made this point several times, and I feel this article is a good time to share this point again: Keep in mind that in our current world, many are desiring simple pleasures. To relax. Unwind. Stay home, or enjoy small groups of friends. Go camping. Currently loud and stuffy restaurants are out, most live music and larger venues are limited, and therefore, expensive entertainment and costly dates are on hold. Especially if you're one of our members who is dating on a budget, you can utilize this time.

The tiny home movement has been extremely interesting to me, as well as the van life trend and RV lifestyle concept. Those who have ditched their large mortgage or rent payment, figured out a way to telecommute for work or have started their own business, and are traveling, having adventures along the way and exploring new territories.

Seasoned members have communicated with and know my assistant Meby. For a number of years Meby and her husband Doug lived in an upscale apartment complex where they had a beautiful pool, tennis courts, basketball and an indoor athletic complex, all features which they actually used and appreciated. Along with appreciating those features, several of their friends had moved to the complex as well, where there was a strong sense of community, spending most evenings together. They played tennis, basketball, utilized the pool in the summertime, and frequently had dinner parties. However, gradually, certain couples began to have children, others wanted to invest in a home or have acreage to themselves, and all of their friends began to move away from the complex.

After finding themselves the only couple they knew still living there, and feeling it'd be wise to invest in a home, they purchased a home in a subdivision where one of the couples had moved and closer to some of their other friends who had moved.

It wasn't long until they regretted this decision. There were no activities, unless they joined a gym or club and drove to and from each evening. The sense of community they hoped to regain wasn't available- everyone now had children, home maintenance on the weekends, and were far more focused on their growing family and house than they were their friends. Doug and Meby began to have marital troubles again, which had been resolved a few years prior. They each grew depressed and were starting to gain weight, now spending many of their evenings watching television instead of being active and social.

One day Doug walked into his office and quickly learned about a new position opening up, a position for a 3/4 time employee who would be allowed to telecommute and join the other employees in online video calls. Doug had more than enough skills and experience for this position, though it would mean a substantial decrease in pay. But he didn't care about that.

He immediately told his manager that he wanted that position, and they could hire someone else to fill his current role. Doug went home and informed Meby of what he desperately hoped would happen. He explained how they could sale the depressing box of a house they had purchased, put the equity into a travel trailer and truck, both work from the road, and travel throughout the USA. He had already outlined how and where expenses could be lowered or eliminated, to help compensate for his decrease in pay. She, of course, can work from anywhere as long as she has her laptop and wifi.

At first Meby was extremely reluctant, feeling Doug was just desperate for change and not thinking clearly. But that night she couldn't sleep. Meby grew more and more accepting- then enthusiastic.

Sure enough, Doug was able to downsize his position at work and claimed the position which allowed him to telecommute. Within a week their house was on the market. They sold all of their furniture, televisions, and anything which wasn't sentimental. Meby donated most of her clothing, handbags, shoes, and nicer linens to women in need.

When I eventually moved to a smaller home, it felt cozy, like having a pair of jeans that fit me just right—no wasted living space and no baggy fabric.

- Lisa J. Shultz, Lighter Living: Declutter. Organize. Simplify.

The house sold, and they purchased their travel trailer. They then traded both of their vehicles in and were able to pay for a truck to pull the travel trailer in cash. No rent. No mortgage. No more vehicle payments.

Meby's only concern and stipulation, was to have some sort of a landing pad to call home, if or whenever they should want to call upon it. Luckily her mother's house is placed on a few acres of land, and her mother was happy to allow them to have a portion of that land. There they placed a shed for storage and built a large wooden deck with an outdoor kitchen, so whenever they return home or for the holidays, they have a place to park their trailer and stay, plus get outdoors.

Now Meby and Doug are traveling the USA, having seen all of the national parks and numerous state parks and historical sites. They've taken up kayaking and now carry two kayaks with them. In addition, they purchased a nice tent so at times they can leave the travel trailer and experience remote camping locations, either by kayak or on foot. They quickly lost the weight they had gained after purchasing their house. Their fights stopped (well, other than the occasional argument over navigation).

Whenever near a town, Meby attends the local farmers market or mom-and-pop stores which sale organic and fresh produce. Through this and simply through their travels, they have collected a long and growing list of new friends & contacts.

As I wrote in my article, 'Start small, then grow.', where I discussed my recent road trip throughout the south, fly fishing and relaxing, following the Pearl and Tennessee Rivers through Louisiana, Mississippi and Tennessee:

As we traveled through the south, state parks were abounding with campers & hikers, designated rock climbing areas teeming with enthusiasts, those fishing spaced out along the rivers and streams, and people were enjoying themselves- outdoors. Children were actually outside, playing. Adults were actually breathing fresh air and moving their bodies. Families were spending time together. Couples were appreciating exercise and activities together- running, climbing, building a campfire, and even meeting new friends and fellow outdoor devotees.

So, times have changed. While technology may have certain downfalls, it has allowed many to telecommute, travel more, connect with others, and many other positives....

Especially over the past eight or so years, an increasing amount of younger adults emerging into the real world, and even older adults simply exasperated of being restricted by possessions, are taking a different approach to home ownership and lifestyle design.

A good percentage of younger adults are now much more prone to upcycle a used piece of furniture or a vintage item, than they are to take themselves to a furniture store.

I'm also filled with optimism witnessing how some 20-somethings and earlier 30-somethings are interested in gardening, canning, foraging, fishing, farming and home cooking. Furthermore, a greater percentage are pursuing the outdoor lifestyle and camping, rock climbing, kayaking, cycling, trail running, fly fishing, and more.

The large brick house lodged within a subdivision is out, and the tiny home is in vogue. Downsizing has been made the cool thing to do. Upcycling and reusing is now the rage, versus taking yourself to the local mall or big box store for something contemporary.

While you can always find negatives to any time period, trend or situation, personally I'm optimistic overall as to what I've witnessed many adults gravitating towards and beginning to make more of a priority.

In my opinion, despite everything going on with Covid, politics and various modern turmoil and concerns, overall I believe the state of attraction and LIFE in 2021 is better now than it was back in 2004-2005.

Overall, to me, it's less materialistic. Less possession-focused. It's more about going smaller, simpler, healthier, outdoors, local, organic (or non-spray), and returning to our roots and culinary traditions.

I know that's not what many people will say or believe (especially with Covid), but looking at it from the angle which I outlined above- I'm optimistic. I have hope. And I hope that you do too.

As always....

Enjoy today. Make great things happen today. Laugh today. Be "you" today. Share your wisdom, truth and smile with others today. Dance today. Release yourself from any guilt today. Play today. Have some fun today.



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