calling all tr!cksters

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In honor of Halloween here are 10 ways to freak out your neighbor

disclaimer: pick your most awful neighbor. not sweet old Ruthie who complained about you picking her roses when you were 11. it was a decade ago. get over it. now, do they hit on your mom all the time? do they make coffee in your kitchen every morning? do they say you can call them dad? there’s your target.

1. post top 10 most wanted signs around the neighborhood with their face on it.

2. night gardening - start digging a big hole in your yard at night. who knows, it might come in handy later.

3. prank call their boss pretending it’s them - dial *69 before the number so your caller ID doesn’t show. one time I forgot to do this and now I’m not allowed within 500 feet of the Outback Steak Houses in Hagerstown, Maryland. if you need a script you can use mine, "hey boss, this is *their name*, your breath is kicking like Claude Van Damme and I quit.”

4. take their dog to the pound (no kill obviously) - no dog deserves to live with such a loser, and they’ll be super freaked out.

6. put a boulder in their kitchen - where did it come from? is this a meteor? am I being targeted by evil aliens? I should probably move. is what they'll think.

9. say "I like your devil costume" when they're not wearing a costume - they'll either move away from embarrassment or die from laughter and you get to use that hole you dug.

 

Unsubscribe if your name is Daniel and you’ve been seeing my mom for the past 3 months. you are gross and I don’t want you reading my e-mails.

Pit Viper 159 W Haven Ave Salt Lake City, UT 84115

 

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