Sheila Wray Gregoire
Sheila Wray Gregoire

NO ONE wants to talk about it...

Email sent: Jun 11, 2021 3:35pm
Perhaps the best kept secret in the Christian sex realm. Plus, the best from the blog this week!
What was Big at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum this week? 

There's one word that, when we were researching for The Great Sex Rescue, came up less in current Christian resources than any other. 

It wasn't abuse. 

It wasn't clitoris. 

It wasn't erectile dysfunction. 

It was vaginismus.

When we scoured sites like Focus on the Family and Desiring God we found lots of mentions of the first three things, so they were definitely willing to talk about sex and difficult topics. But vaginismus--women's pain during sex due to a tightening of the vaginal muscles--didn't appear. 

Similarly, in the best-selling books on sex and marriage, very very few even mentioned vaginismus and the ones that did tended to not handle it well at all. Some were better than others, but for the most part, desperate women who feel alone and scared because sex is downright painful, if they were to look to our best-sellers and most popular online resources, would come up short. There's no help for them; only threats about what will happen if they don't do this incredibly painful thing. 

And of course, every single one of the resources that mishandled or omitted mentions of vaginismus was chock full of obligation sex messaging (if she doesn't sleep with her husband and meet his needs, he'll turn to pornography; you are duty-bound to fulfill each other's sexual desires and urges).

This next week, continuing in our pelvic floor health month, we'll be talking about vaginismus. So I want to know something quickly from you: 

Had you heard of vaginismus before reading this blog? 

And that's all for this week--if you're one of the many women who has experienced vaginismus or is currently battling it, take heart. You are not alone. There are treatment options. And we'll be tackling that all next week. 

#1 on the Blog This Week...

8 Ways to Improve Sex for International Lovemaking Day

We’ve spent several months talking about how WRONG the church has all too often gotten sex, and how much couples have been hurt in the process (especially women).

But in The Great Sex Rescue, we tried to leave everyone with a vision of what great sex looks like in our final chapter on Passion.

Read Here

Want to support our research and help spread our message?

Check out our Patreon to see what we're up to:
(note: the Patreon does not support the blog, which is self-sustaining)
Check out our Patreon

Newest Podcast Episode:

Podcast: Jesus and John Wayne

We’re so excited to have Kristin Kobes Du Mez join the podcast today! Kristin is the author of a book that is getting a ton of buzz–Jesus and John Wayne. 

Kristin looks at the history of evangelical culture, specifically in the United States, where militaristic, chauvinistic, and cutthroat male behavior became the standard for evangelicalism, rather than love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Plus Becca and I talk about how to find a church when you’re disillusioned, and Katie joins us for something funny!

Check it out.

And here are the rest of this week's posts!

Why is so Much Evangelical Sex Advice Out of Touch?

Do we have hope for the future? How did we get here with sex? What are the big problems with the way the evangelical church sees sex?

Recently I did a big interview with Rachel Joy Welcher, author of Talking Back to Purity Culture (remember the podcast she was on?) for Fathom Mag.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing for other websites recently to get the word out about The Great Sex Rescue, and I’d like to share them here, too, because it saves me some time, but also I’m pretty proud of them!

Read here


3 Keys to Recovering from Childbirth

Recovering from childbirth isn’t something that happens overnight, and it isn’t something you can achieve through will power or just “doing what needs to get done.”

Your body has just gone through tremendous trauma, and it needs time to heal.

But with preparation, rest, and community, it can be a lot less exhausting and painful

Read here
Why We Need a More Nuanced Conversation About Postpartum Sex

When we first wrote The Great Sex Rescue, and started talking about some of the terrible things that we found in evangelical sex books, we didn’t know which themes were going to catch on.  

But over and over again, what comes up in private messages to me, and in comments on social media, is people very upset about Kevin Leman’s pressure on women to give husbands sexual favors during the postpartum phase. That’s what makes women’s blood boil the most. 

Read here


Did you know I have a FREE resource library, just for subscribers? 
Take me to it! (Password: TLHVLIBRARY)
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!
The Orgasm Course
The Orgasm Course
Sexy Dares--24 Dares for Couples
Sexy Dares--24 Dares for Couples
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