Shinesty
Shinesty

2.5 extra inches.

Email sent: Feb 19, 2021 1:13pm
enjoy.
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A long long time and lots of hard science later, present our definitive guide: A Descent Into The Worst Long Things To Ever Exist
Skip To The Greatest Long Invention of All Time
Dante's Longferno. Overgrown nails. We're longing to know how these sickos open bags of chips. The Plank. Magically transforms 30 human seconds into a lifetime. The Selfie Stick. Voted best tool for getting shortlisted at the Darwin awards. Bagel Bites. The only thing longer than the 2 min it takes to cook them is how long it will take your seared tongue to recover from their molten innards. Chick-Fil-A Lines. If you have any self respect for your time, just make a u-turn. Toys 'R' Us Giraffe. Felt cute, might go bankrupt and break millions of kids hearts later. 2020. On behalf of Earth, eff you. I'm sure none of you will argue about these. How long it's been since some of you tried a fresh pair of Ball Hammocks.
Let's fix that last one. Introducing the 8.5 Inchers. Longer leg Ball Hammocks that kill ride up dead

These are the showers of the Ball Hammock world and they're well endowed with 2.5 more inches of inseam than our standard cut. If you don't love your first pair, we'll give you your money back.

Show Your Thighs Some Extra Love
Join us 8.5 inchers.
Add Some Length Down There

Stay Weird & Add A Few Inches

Stay Weird & Shine On
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We're at 1990 57th Ct. N, Boulder, CO 80301
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This extremely tasteful, hand crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten free email was designed by Dain and written by Jens.
If you're down here looking for advice, we can't help you. That said, if you want a cryptic clue about what the next addition coming to the Ball Hammock family is just respond directly to this email.

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