Shinesty
Shinesty

Half of you will hate this email

Email sent: Mar 30, 2021 11:03am
Here are 10 examples why
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Shinesty The good, the bad, and the ones that make you pee a lil bit...all surprises are not created equal so we’ve ranked life’s surprises from best to worst for your pleasure:  Soldier homecoming videos  extra points for dogs losing their marbles Proposals  When they say yes Shinesty’s mystery Ball Hammocks & thongs  Saves you 20% & spices up the doomscrolling
Mystery Ball Hammocks
Mystery Thongs
Surprise Your Privates
4. Puppies as presents Especially if they have a red bow around their neck 5. A dick in a box When gifted between two consenting adults 6. Hypnic jerks That abrupt feeling of falling when you’re 99% asleep 7. Trusting a fart When it should NOT have been trusted 8. Proposals  When they say no 9. TLC’s show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant Really, these women didn’t know until giving birth 10. Gender reveals Do we really want another wildfire? We’re offering you unfettered access to one of the 10 surprises on that list.
No, This Isn't A Proposal
Get A Surprise Ball Hammock For 20% Off
Get A Surprise Thong for 20% off

Stay Weird & Why Does This Happen EVERY TIME

Stay Weird & why does this happen EVERY TIME
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We're at 1990 57th Ct. N, Boulder, CO 80301
If you're looking for PG ish content or you're someone's mom, follow us on Facebook.
If you wanna get freaky and see what's almost not socially acceptable for a brand to say, follow our Instagram.
If neither of those options appeals to you, follow us on Twitter, we haven't touched that in ages (I don't even know the password.)

This extremely tasteful, hand crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten free email was designed by Dain and written by Paige.
If you're down here looking for advice, I can't help you, we're all misfits here. But if you think there's a different surprise that should've made our subjective list, just respond directly.

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