Shinesty
Shinesty

welp, your generation might not be worthless after all.

Email sent: Mar 2, 2021 10:50am
what I just put on my junk changed what I once thought about you hipsters.
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Grandson, Prep those virgin ears of yours for some locker room talk because I just put some stuff on my junk that turned my Camry into a v12 Cadillac.
Take Me To What’s Makin’ Grandpa Jazzed Up
 I know I said millennials like you don’t have half the testosterone of a Boomer’s left ball cuz of all your health products, but that was prior to me using this special Ballwash on the family jewels.
My toolbox used to feel like an armadillo’s back, but one squirt of that aloe cucumber soap and now it’s softer than 2-ply.
I Want To Be Softer Than Charmin Down There
The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree now. You tout a pine-scented bear and I’ve got bush that reeks of a sandalwood, coconut love child thanks to this Nut Rub cologne.Do yourself a favor - instead of talking to your therapist about your feelings, get some of these ball detailing kits. Since your generation likes things spoonfed, I put the links here:
Get this charcoal-activated Ballwash
Apply this "man slab" soap from tip-to-taint. - Pappy

Stay Weird & Somebody Get Grandpa

Stay Weird & Shine On
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We're at 1990 57th Ct. N, Boulder, CO 80301
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This extremely tasteful, hand crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten free email was designed by Dain and written by Smooches.
If you're down here looking for advice, I can't help you, we're all misfits here. But if you want to know about the first wang soap we carried four years ago, reply directly back to this email.

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