Happy Wednesday Betches! Quick question: how is it already late July? Summer is halfway over, and I haven’t visited the beach, read through my summer reading list, or been to a single park picnic. Yet, somehow I’ve kept up with multiple reality TV franchises and liked nearly 500 Tweets about The Odyssey, so maybe this is cause for a bit of self-reflection on my part. To be fair, this summer has delivered a LOT of stellar content though. From Backrooms and The Invite in theaters to Love Island USA and The Real Housewives of Rhode Island on TV, there’s been plenty to watch.

Unfortunately for my dreams of eating charcuterie on a park bench or tracking down a lobster roll by the sea, the onslaught of movies and TV shows doesn’t seem to be letting up. We’ve got Spider-Man: Brand New Day hitting theaters before the end of the month, and Big Brother is airing three nights a week. Plus, I’ve got to keep refreshing Taylor Swift’s Instagram page waiting for photos of her wedding dress. The longer we wait, the more I’m beginning to believe the documentary theory, because it doesn’t take a wedding photographer this long to turn around ten shots for an Instagram carousel, right?

And while we’ve still got six weeks left for me to cram every item from my summer bucket list into, I’m already looking forward to fall and specifically September 8. Why? Because…

Update On My Close Personal Friends — RHONY is returning!

After the disastrous Season 15 of The Real Housewives of New York City, I know I should be trepidatious about the upcoming season, which is Frankensteining the reboot’s cast with three newbies and Carole Radziwill. And yet, when the Season 16 trailer dropped yesterday I found myself giddy with anticipation. First of all, the RHONY reboot cast has shed a lot of dead weight with only Jessel Taank (icon), Erin Lichy (gossipmonger extraordinaire), and Sai de Silva (I’m more meh on her) returning. These three now have years’ worth of history, so I’m hopeful that they’ll create a solid base for the season.

While there had been plenty of online speculation that Season 16 would be half newbies and half OGs, the only old-school returnee is Carole Radziwill, who was on Seasons 5-10. My unified theory of The Real Housewives is that the show is best when the cast already know one another to a certain degree, and throwing Carole in with the younger women seems a bit ill-conceived, but in the trailer, she’s being accused of going to Jeffrey Epstein’s island and she was close with JFK Jr., so at the very least we’ll get some interesting content there.

The trio of newbies seem wacky as hell, so while I again don’t love that this cast didn’t seem to know each other before filming, I am intrigued with the cast members individually. First up, we’ve got Martha Stewart’s makeup artist Daisy Toye, and then there’s Erika Hammond, who used to be a WWE wrestler under the name Veronica Lane and then married a tech billionaire who owns his own island. Lastly, Hailey Glassman, the daughter of a famous plastic surgeon and ex-girlfriend of Jon Gosselin, who apparently was bullying Claudia Oshry online. What a wiiiiiiiiild trio of women. I just know the memes are going to be good even if the drama isn’t.

There’s Still Time To Upgrade Your Cooler This Summer

In Paid Partnership with Josh Cellars

We may be nearing the halfway point of the summer (sorry, it’s true!), but there is still plenty of time for sunny hangs and plans that make it out of the group chat. And whether you’re packing the cooler for a spontaneous beach day or a casual backyard hang, Josh Cellars has you covered with their new bubbly Seaswept Sparkling, or their classic, citrusy Seaswept. These bright, refreshing wines are begging to be sipped while basking in the sun and giggling over the same gossip you’ve been unpacking since college. So if you’re ready to turn up the music, keep the good times flowing, and soak up the rest of the summer with your besties, make sure your cooler is stocked with Josh Cellars Seaswept and new Seaswept Sparkling. Grab a bottle now!

Please drink responsibly. For more information, visit https://www.joshcellars.com

The Couch Report — There’s now a movie about pickleball out

Given the rise in pickleball, aka tennis for weaklings, it was only a matter of time before we got a pickleball movie. Now The Dink, in which Jake Johnson plays an aging tennis pro who pivots to pickleball after he gets injured, is headed to Apple TV+ on July 24. The sports comedy also stars Ben Stiller, Mary Steenburgen, Ed Harris, Chloe Fineman, and two former tennis pros, John McEnroe and Andy Roddick as themselves. Oh, and just as an FYI, “dink” is a type of pickleball shot. I assumed the film’s title was a reference to the acronym for “double income no kids,” but I was wrong.

Be So For Real — Bethenny Frankel is going to Burning Man

While Carole Radziwill will be promoting RHONY, her former co-star will be heading into the Nevada desert. Bethenny Frankel recently announced that she’ll be making her first trek to Burning Man this year following her new year’s resolution to be more open. Fans were surprised that Bethenny would tag along with the more traditional Burning Man crew made up of artists, ravers, and more recently, Silicon Valley tech bros. However, she stated in an Instagram post that she’ll be doing the festival her way. She’s not doing drugs, and will be staying in a “nice” RV. She’s also bringing hydration IVs with her as she’s managing two chronic health conditions that require her to stay hydrated. Presumably she’ll also be bringing some supermodel snacks to help her stay nourished.

Current Hyperfixation — Contortionist Jessica Chastain

There’s nothing I enjoy more than when a lauded Oscar winning actor takes a role in a movie destined to be horrible. Think Frances McDormand in Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Anne Hathaway in The Hustle or Eddie Redmayne in The Aeronauts. Jessica Chastain seems poised to join this elite club, playing two versions of a mother, one normal and one evil contortionist in Other Mommy. From the goofy title to the laughable trailer, everything about Other Mommy, which comes out on October 9, is asking the question, “Why did Oscar winner Jessica Chastain agree to be in the movie?” But I love an actor who likes to have a little fun, and I will be seated to watch Jessica crouched like a spider under the family dining table.