Single girl summer is officially on the horizon. Summer House wraps up with a three-part reunion. Literally three parts? It’s giving the unnecessarily long text your bestie drunkenly sends her ex for “closure.” Obviously, I’ll be watching all three parts and then immediately consuming about three hours of TikToks dissecting every second of it, but I’m still going to complain about the runtime.

We’ve already got our first breakup of the summer season, though plenty more will inevitably follow. And I’ve got a feeling a certain someone might be popping up on the new season of Love Island… Watch this space.

People are leaving islands, leaving Paris (finally), and leaving Netflix shows. It’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times, and it’s me catching up on pop culture during a heatwave.

See below the biggest stories of the week before we all check out and consume 100 hot dogs.

He was indeed Too Hot To Handle

They shocked us last summer when they were spotted out and about: Netflix’s favorite last-minute dating show replacement guy, Louis Russell, and Love Island’s “I’m a mommy” queen, Huda Mustafa. But after nearly nine months of dating, the reality TV couple has officially called it quits.

“We want to share that after taking time to reflect on what’s best for us both,” the former couple said in a joint statement to E! News on May 21. “We have mutually decided to part ways for the time being.”

According to the statement, Huda is “dedicating her time and energy to being the best mother, her music career, and the exciting opportunities ahead.” Meanwhile, Louis is “focused on being the best father he can be and pursuing his future endeavors.” Okayyyy, so who’s winning the breakup revenge glow-up competition? Because this statement feels a little competitive.

The split comes after the news broke in March that Louis’ ex and the mother of his son filed a temporary restraining order against Huda. According to People, she accused Huda of making “terrifying and extremely mentally unstable threats” toward both her and Luka-Kai.

Louis had also been involved in a custody battle with his ex, Nicole, but reportedly dropped the case on April 28.

Emotional heat wave in the Summer House reunion trailer

The moment we’ve all been waiting for. Honestly? This is giving Scandoval 2.0 — except somehow there’s a fourth person involved now. Ever since the news broke about Amanda Batula and West Wilson’s relationship, we’ve been counting down to the Summer House reunion. And judging by the trailer? It absolutely delivers.

All four parties are in attendance, and things get messy fast. Kyle Cooke confronts the pair pretty brutally, while Ciara Miller goes straight for the emotional gut punch. And perhaps the most painful part of all? West barely seems to comfort his girl during the chaos. Sir!!! Follow her out!!! Offer her a tissue after that mutually assured destruction.

Needless to say, we’ll be seated Tuesday night. And a THREE-part reunion? What is this, Breaking Dawn?

The sun has set for these Selling Sunset stars

The stunning real estate show where we all watch multimillion-dollar villas get sold while sitting in our mold-filled rented apartments waiting for the landlord to answer a single email? Yeah, Selling Sunset might suddenly be looking a little more relatable.

According to TMZ, four cast members are allegedly not returning for season 10: Mary Bonnet, Emma Hernan, Chelsea Lazkani, and Sandra Vergara. The outlet reports that they were “informed back in April that their contracts would not be renewed ahead of production on the upcoming season.”

And that’s not even the full casualty list. Three other cast members have already confirmed their exits from the Netflix series: Chrishell Stause, Nicole Young, and Alanna Gold.

At this point, there’ll be more empty seats at the Oppenheim Group than at one of Jason’s open houses. It might genuinely be time to close escrow on Selling Sunset for good.

Harry Styles lost his virginity to this song

Sorry, I don’t have a better pun because I’m still too busy processing this deeply important cultural revelation. While honoring Thom Yorke at the Ivor Novello Awards, Harry Styles casually revealed that he lost his virginity to Radiohead’s Talk Show Host. The way you wouldn’t have been able to waterboard this information out of me.

After politely thanking “Elton for that wonderful introduction,” Harry explained just how important Radiohead’s music has been to him over the years, before dropping the sentence heard around the internet: “I lost my virginity to Talk Show Host.” Come again? And again, and agaaaaaaain.

He then clarified: “Well, I lost my virginity to the intro of Talk Show Host.” He’s modest.

Anyway, immediately adding it to my NSFW playlist so I can better pretend the man disappointing me is actually Harry Styles.

Emily’s work visa expired

Netflix has confirmed that the next season of Emily in Paris will be its last. Yep, Emily is officially leaving Paris… or at least leaving our TV screens. Her work visa couldn’t last forever, guys, especially in this media economy. (Something we all learned from The Devil Wears Prada 2, obviously.) Honestly, we’re still shocked we never got a “marriage for visa purposes” storyline, but there’s always time for chaos in season 6.

We don’t have a release date yet, but we do know season 6 will pick up right after that season 5 cliffhanger, where Emily’s on-again, off-again situationship Gabriel drops a postcard inviting her on a Greek getaway.

Filming has already kicked off in Greece, with additional scenes in Paris and Monaco, because Emily is nothing if not geographically overstimulated at all times.

Au revoir, Emily.

Swifties are clowning again – it’s me, I am the clown

We’re the fans who’ve called wolf so many times, but what if we’re actually right this time?? Our girl Taylor Swift has been out and about a lot lately, wearing a lot of silk. Fabric of choice? Bridal era? Or a goddamn Easter egg?

India’s National Handloom Day falls on August 7th, which just so happens to be a Friday, aka the day of the week new albums are traditionally released. 8/7. Oh, and Travis Kelce happens to wear the #87 jersey for the Chiefs. Girl maths alert.

So… could we be getting Debutation (aka the simultaneous rerelease of both Taylor’s debut album and Reputation) on August 7?

Butterflies produce silk, and butterflies are very strongly associated with Taylor’s debut era. And National Handloom Day isn’t even the only weirdly specific holiday falling on August 7, it’s also National Sea Serpent Day (yes, really)… which is giving snakes… which is giving Reputation.

I know I sound insane, but let’s not forget Taylor’s latest album, The Life of a Showgirl, dropped on National Plaid Day last year after she spent months leading up to it wearing nothing but plaid like it was a personality trait.

She’s a SURVIVOR

Well, it was a rather wild finale of Survivor 50, lowkey giving La La Land accidentally being announced as Best Picture in 2017 energy. Host Jeff Probst made a live TV oopsie when he spoiled the results of the fire-making challenge, announcing that Rizo Velovic had lost and was therefore a member of the jury.

Then it was onto winner time, where Aubry Bracco was crowned Sole Survivor of Survivor 50. She beat fellow finalists Jonathan Young and Joe Hunter in an 8–3–0 vote at the Final Tribal Council after a pretty brutal grilling from the jury.

And yes, she walked away with $2 million, double the usual prize, thanks to a twist introduced by MrBeast. Don’t get me started on the celebs of Survivor 50 again.

Don’t fret, Survivor 51 has already been filmed in Fiji and will air on CBS this fall.

Jessie J is cancer-free!

jessiej

Jessie J on Instagram: "‼️RESULTS ARE IN AND I AM CANCER FREE‼️…

View on Instagram

Let’s end on a genuinely positive note. It’s been 11 months since Price Tag singer Jessie J announced she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent a mastectomy soon after her diagnosis.

Now, after sharing updates about her most recent checkup and highlighting the process of breast MRIs, the singer has shared the incredible news that she is cancer-free.

“‼️RESULTS ARE IN AND I AM CANCER FREE‼️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I sobbed for hours and then exhaled for the first time in a year 🌱🔋,” she wrote.

Honestly, the kind of energy we need to enter the weekend.