It’s been a busy couple of days in Hollywood. This week started with the Emmy Awards on Monday night, where Jean Smart made history by winning the Best Actress in a Comedy category for every single season of Hacks. Meanwhile, Dr. Robby (aka Noah Wyle) earned his second Emmy for The Pitt, and The Traitors continued its domination in the world of reality TV.

Over in the world of theater, a 50th anniversary Annie revival was announced for Broadway. The production will be directed by Oh, Mary! director Sam Pinkleton, so I’m going to need Cole Escola in the role of Miss Hannigan. (Just imagine them singing “Easy Street”.) Rosie O’Donnell will also be heading to the Great White Way for a short stint as the narrator in The Rocky Horror Show.

This week also brought a pair of very buzzy (and slightly NSFW) magazine covers that must be seen to be believed. GQ debuted their pelvic-forward Tom Cruise cover timed to the release of Digger. Cruise, who hasn’t entered the awards race in years, seems to finally be doing mainstream interviews again. Meanwhile, Charli XCX was interviewed by Kylie Jenner for the cover of Playboy. Now I really need the Kylie Jenner Playboy cover where she’s interviewed by Charli XCX.

Oh, and Lady Gaga had a Baby Gaga! The littlest monster is here!

Update On My Close Personal Friends — Matthew Rhys is the king of the Emmys

Everything’s coming up Matthew Rhys! The Brothers & Sisters actor is finally getting his due after 20 years’ worth of stellar work on television. At the Emmys on Monday, Rhys won not one, not two, but three trophies. As a producer and the lead actor of Widow’s Bay, he scooped up two Emmys in the comedy races, while also taking home the Lead Actor in a Miniseries Emmy for his performance in The Beast in Me.

As a longtime Hacks fan, I was a bit disappointed to see Widow’s Bay sweep nearly every category, earning 14 Emmys, setting the single-season record for a comedy, BUT I can’t begrudge Matthew Rhys all those good vibes. He should have had at least three Emmys for his work on The Americans, so this was overdue.

The Couch Report — The Traitors: New Blood is here for more murderous fun

Fresh off all those Emmy wins for the celebrity-filled version of The Traitors, the civilian iteration, The Traitors: New Blood premieres tomorrow night on NBC. Alan Cumming will be back to quote Shakespeare, wear kilts, and hurl picture frames onto the breakfast room floor, while 22 normies try to win a hefty chunk of change. The new cast includes an ironworker, a funeral director, an astrophysicist, and multiple lawyers. It’s such a shame that by the end of Thursday night, one of these poor folks will be murdered.

Be So For Real — Dancing With the Stars needs tech support

Dancing With the Stars kicked off Season 35 last night, and we’re already down a dancer. As I pointed out on Monday, Conner Leavitt’s chances of winning the Mirrorball Trophy always seemed slim given his small social media presence, and even Whitney throwing herself through a piece of drywall couldn’t save him from elimination.

Perhaps the only thing to fare worse than Conner during the premiere, however, was the DWTS computer server. Due to a massive influx of votes, the website crashed mid-episode, prompting the producers to throw out all online votes and rely solely on text message voting. Hopefully tech support has stepped in today so that when part two of the premiere airs tonight, the website doesn’t buckle under the pressure. Tonight will also see a second celeb chopped. (Giada, you better watch out!)

Current Hyperfixation — Meg Stalter dressing like an Emmy

The prettiest girl in America has struck again! No one is having as much fun on a red carpet as Hacks star Meg Stalter is. She’s dressed up as Kylie Jenner, she’s worked a Diet Coke box corset, and for the Emmys, she walked the carpet as a life-sized version of the golden trophy. I’m not quite sure how she sat down for the festivities in this ensemble, but she certainly stole focus on the red carpet (and that was hard to do given just HOW BAD Shailene Woodley’s outfit was).