Acceptance, a story about debt and compassion

Hello Loves,

 

I've got a quick story for you about debt—which is really about Acceptance. Note the capital A. 

 

I'm talking about the virtue of Acceptance, a high vibration state. Not the "little acceptance" that's about acting like we're going with the flow when we're actually terrified, or the acceptance we grant when people finally behave that way we want them to.

 

Big Acceptance is a form of life mastery. When you get in the practice of not resisting what's occurring, your cortisol levels drop and you build creative energy.

 

Acceptance is a very compassionate and productive way to live.

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Okay, the story (I share some of this in Bless & Release)

 

I had a friend in a heap of debt. They owed taxes and family loans, and their credit cards were maxed. So stressful. 

 

Shame had them in a headlock so they couldn't look at the bills or calculate what they owed. It got so insufferable that they—very wisely—got themselves in a debtors' support program and made an Excel sheet, documented their debt and made a plan to chip away at it. 

 

But two things held them back. 

 

First, they were in such a state of self-loathing that doing what needed to be done felt like a punishment. The Excel sheet was more of a sh*t list than a freedom plan.

 

Second, they were fixated on getting out of debt. But wasn't that the point? Shouldn't they be obsessed with getting out of debt? No. 

 

The debt needed to stop being the main character in their story. They needed to no longer see themselves foremost as “someone in debt.” It would have been much more helpful to declare that they were now very focused on building their wealth. 

 

Things actually got worse before they got better. There was more negative self-talk (a very long habit), and spending and avoidance. 

 

Finally, at the end of the rope and credit lines, my friend had no choice but to resort to radical Acceptance. Their words were, “F*ck it! I just gotta love myself and do this.” 

 

Yessss. Acceptance across the board. The behaviours that got them there—Accepted. The existence of karma—Accepted. The presence of God and inner light and resilience—Accepted. The dream of an abundant life—Accepted. The doubt and fears? Also Accepted!

 

They blessed their mess, stopped hating themselves for getting into it, and did the work to clean it up. Facing the debt—and everything that was a part of it, became a portal to self-respect and freedom. As all challenges do when we stop resisting them.

If our “healing” or “growth” methodology lacks self-compassion, we won't move beyond our old behaviour.

 

It's Love, not fear, that heals everything—including debt and the shame and fear around it.

Here's a quick Acceptance audit: Are you using self-criticism and rejection as your motivator?

 

There was a period in my life when I self-criticised my way through meditation. It made me miserable. Duh. So I took a long hiatus from meditating. Eventually, I got really soft and sweet with myself about all of my weirdness around it. Showing up, not showing up. Shame, devotion. All of it. I just loved myself for being the way I was with the practice and my life and my fears. Then I got back to meditating and the rewards of that started to grow. 

 

Maybe we don't need to ditch the methodology. Maybe we just need to bring more self-compassion to it. 

 

Be softer with getting out of debt, getting in shape, getting closer to the person we want to be close to.

 

Maybe this is the most relatable definition of the virtue of Acceptance: Be softer with the behaviours that got you to the place that you want to move on from. 

 

This works too: 

 

F*ck it! You just gotta love yourself and do this.

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I'm working on a piece about working with our fear. If you have any ideas or thoughts about that, just hit REPLY to this email, like a DM but old school. I read everything.
 

 

I'm cheering on your profound capacity to be in deep Acceptance (which is not the same as condoning) so that you use your life force to create what you really truly want. Acceptance = transformation. ❤️‍🔥

With Love,

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