In a world that often blushes at desire, Dr. Justin Lehmiller has made it his life’s work to take desire seriously. A social psychologist and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute, Lehmiller is host of The Sex and Psychology Podcast and the author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. I have long admired the way he investigates the erotic dimension that many pretend doesn't exist, and I am thrilled he was willing to answer some of my own investigative prompts.
I spend much of my life meeting people, asking them questions, and listening to their answers. You’d think I’d be at ease with a questionnaire like this. I’m not. I find myself feeling a little shy being on the other side of the questions.
When I hear the word forbidden, the first thing that comes to mind is sexual fantasy. What I’ve found in my research is that most people at least sometimes fantasize about doing things that are forbidden. When we’re told we can't do something, that often makes us want to do it even more...
