The woman I spoke with on this week’s podcast episode recounted a time as a child when she had to adapt her emotional response to accommodate the actions of her autistic bother. After he killed her goldfish, her mother urged her to forgive him and show no reaction, avoiding a raging tantrum on his part, and stifling her own feelings in the process. It wasn’t until her cousin pointed out that she had a right to feel sad about the loss that she even realized she was adapting her behavior.
This story represents a cycle that many of us have experienced: the realities within our family require us to adapt our behavior, even if the adaptation does not honor our emotional needs. ...