How to Renew Your Mind
So how exactly do we begin to renew our minds? I would like to suggest three steps that have worked for me. With that said, it’s critical to note that these steps are not a one-and-done thing but a lifelong process. This is a daily, ongoing journey that sometimes involves progress but also, at times, setbacks. But over time, transformation takes root.
Step 1: Expose the Lies
Before we can embrace God’s truth, we must be aware of the lies we’ve believed for so long. Here are some examples of lies we believe about God:
- God doesn’t really love me.
- God is angry with me.
- God can’t forgive me after what I’ve done.
- If I mess up too much, I’ll lose my salvation.
Regarding people, we embrace lies such as
- If I let people in, all they will do is hurt me.
- I’ll never be able to be happy again after what they did to me.
Common lies relating to addiction are
- I will never be free from this.
- This is just who I am.
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I need this to cope with life.
- God understands. I can’t help it.
- As long as I’m not hurting anyone, it’s fine.
- One more time won’t hurt.
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And the list goes on and on.
I’ve shared a few soul chains I’ve overcome, and I’ve also revealed some lies I believed for many years. Regarding relationships, the central lie that I embraced was, “If I don’t find the perfect woman, I’ll either be miserable or end up getting a divorce like my family members.” Or, “Other people may be able to be happy in marriage, but that’s not possible for me.” Because of the trauma, these lies, and many others, were so deeply entrenched within me that I had no idea they were controlling and dominating my actions and sabotaging all of my relationships. So I went from one relationship to another, trying to find someone who could meet the requirements of this lie. And sadly, I left behind a trail of broken hearts because no woman I met ever reached the perfect standard I was looking for.
As for the soul chain of sexual lust, the primary lie that had me bound was, “Since marriage probably won’t happen, the only safe way for me to fulfill my sexual desires is through self- pleasure, and God must be okay with it. Because if He wasn’t, He would have sent me my wife by now.” Because I believed that lie, I allowed myself to indulge for years, conditioning my conscience to no longer experience conviction. As a result, I sank deeper and deeper into sin, and the soul chain got stronger and stronger.
With the soul chain of perfectionism, it was, “I should always perform above my expectations for myself. If I don’t, I have failed.” This permeated every area of my life, including golf, pickleball, and even ministry. When I played golf and had a bad round, I felt like a failure because my self-worth was tied to my performance. It resulted in friends not wanting to play with me because I wasn’t a fun person to play with. It also resulted in extreme mood swings depending on how I played. Bottom line: I didn’t permit myself to fail—ever. Failure was unacceptable.
Step 2: Embrace the Truth
Exposing the lies is just the beginning. These lies must be replaced with God’s truth. When we do this, the promise is that we will walk in God’s perfect will for our lives. Paul said in Romans 12:2 to
let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. — NLT
I love that. It’s only when we change the way we think that we will learn to know God’s will for our lives.
An excellent parable that illustrates both how easy it is to believe a lie and the transformative power of embracing the truth is the well-known parable of the prodigal son.
In the story, the younger son initially believed a lie. The lie was that he’d be happier away from his father’s house. As a result of embracing that lie, he wasted his inheritance, lived in misery, and was left broke, broken, and starving. But then we read in Luke 15:17–18,
When he came to his senses, he said... ‘I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against Heaven and against you.’
He almost believed another lie: that he would no longer be his father’s son, only a servant. He could have believed that because of what he had done, his father would never accept him again. He was dealing with shame, a soul chain that many people deal with. But instead, in that moment, he chose not to focus on the lie but to embrace the truth.
The truth was that he was still his father’s son, no matter how far he had fallen, and that he could return home.
What was the result? His father restored him completely, gave him a robe of honor, a ring, and sandals. The trajectory of his entire life was changed because he chose to embrace truth rather than a lie. And that truth is one you may need to embrace, my friend.
It is a fact that no matter what you’ve done, how far you’ve strayed, or how deep your sin is, God still loves you, and embracing that truth will always lead to your restoration.
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