How To Give Him That "Wow" Level Of Attraction And Avoid The "Eww" Feeling That Makes Him Run

		Featured Expert: Jason Stedman

If the guy in your life is acting distant or frustrated with you, what he's actually FEELING may mean more about the future of your relationship than you think.

Find out how you can quickly reconnect with a man before he pulls away and it's too late. Watch my Natural & Lasting Attraction program here and learn how to keep your man engaged in your relationship so he only wants to get closer and closer to you:

Do you ever worry that you are going to lose a good man?

You aren't alone.

Today I wanted to talk about how such negative beliefs and doubts often lead to incredibly destructive behavior - clingy neediness that DRIVES MEN AWAY faster than Monday Night Football.

Check out a question I received from a reader about this problem, and then read on to learn WHY this happens, WHAT MEN THINK about it, and how to PREVENT it from ruining your relationship:

A.First, thanks for your honesty and self-awareness in this question. I'm glad you asked because having this kind of repetitive negative thinking is more common that you might think.

And it almost ALWAYS drives a man away - if not physically, then emotionally.

In fact, whether you see it or not, both men AND women have these uncertain and insecure feelings that get in their way. So the good news is that you're not alone.

But the bad news is that lots of women who feel "helpless" in this way NEVER figure out what to do about it until it's too late. By then the guy has already come to that critical moment where he has seen so much of your insecure thinking and behavior that he gets that "Eeeewwwww" feeling - you know, that feeling where you see something that's so unappealing to you that you literally tighten up your body, your eyes, everything, and say or think "Eeeeewwwww".

This "Eeeeewwwww" feeling changes everything. Once a man has this "Eeeewwww" feeling with a woman, there's little or nothing she can do to try and bring back the passion and respect a man used to have for her.

And forget about him feeling ATTRACTION. A man's "Eeeewwwww" is basically him feeling the OPPOSITE of attraction, where he literally wants to get away as quickly as possible.

What You DON'T Want To Do

The truth is that the most certain and complete way to drive a man away (and as far away as possible) is to become overly needy, clingy, and suspicious. Whether in private or in public.

I don't just mean in what you SAY. I'm also talking about doing this just by what you FEEL.

One of the things I've talked about before is how once you believe something to be "true", you tend to find proof of what it is that you believe all around you in the world.

For example, people used to believe that the world was flat... and when they did, there was proof everywhere that they found that made "sense" to them and supported their firm belief that the world was flat.

And even when someone came along and proved that the world was round, it took a long time for most people to start to accept this as "reality".

The reason that I bring this up is because it sounds to me like you're looking for an answer to a problem... when what you need is NOT an answer.

What You Need Is The Right BELIEF

So instead of trying to "fix" all the things that you think are the problem with you in your relationship, you should actually try to change what you believe and PREVENT these problems in the first place.

Following me here? Good.

I'm going to talk about how to prevent this problem first, then tell you a few things you can do when you run into it again in the future as well.

Here are two things to keep in mind:

1. As you might already know, men aren't often the best in the world at giving emotional support and at nurturing. He might not recognize what's really going on with you, or he might not know how to give you what you want, or it might even be that he is afraid of how you are acting and he doesn't feel comfortable getting any closer to you.
2. expect that if a woman likes them, then the woman should feel good when she's around him. I know it might sound simple, or even stupid, but if a woman is constantly stressed or worried or unhappy when she's around a man, not only does he feel like he can't make her happy, but he'll want to spend LESS and LESS time around her.

So here are two ways to communicate with a man that will make him not only FEEL GOOD, but make him want to communicate with you and be around you more:

1. Figure out how to help men see and recognize what it is that you are looking for with them, without frustrating or confusing them even more.
2. Find out why it is that YOU are so chronically unsatisfied. Men want to be around women who make them FEEL GOOD. Telling him that he is constantly doing things WRONG just creates more ANXIETY.

Now, Let's Tackle This First Approach...

To figure out how to help a man, you need to recognize what it is that you are looking for from him. So... you might have to work on figuring this out for yourself first.

My bet is that this isn't the first relationship with a man where you've felt and acted this way... and your need to feel reassured and approved of by others in order to feel ok about yourself isn't just a thing that comes up with men. You probably do this in other subtle ways with other people in your life, too - like with your friends and your family.

In other words, what you're doing is a pattern of communicating in ALL your relationships. It just happens to be a higher-stakes and more emotionally intense situation when it comes to men, dating, and relationships.

The truth is, you need to learn how to communicate in a relationship with a man in a way that actually brings you closer together AND gets your needs met...

Sharing Your Feelings Fearlessly

You don't want to keep "playing the games" that are pushing him further away from you. You CAN and need to share your feelings. You just haven't learned HOW to share them in a way that ACTUALLY WORKS and has positive results with men in relationships.

And until you learn how to share your feelings, you're never going to get away from that awful disconnected and isolated feeling where you fear telling the man in your life how you really feel inside.

Feeling this way is NOT a way to live in your relationship, and you know it. Even if your relationship went on, it would be destined to blow up because you wouldn't have a voice and be appreciated for your feelings.

If you need to learn more about how to talk with a man and do it in a way that he will listen and RESPOND to, rather than withdraw from...

AND you want to learn how to understand HIM better, too...

Then you should take a minute and read through all the tips and strategies I've put into my video program From Casual To Committed.

In this program, I've dedicated an entire section to helping you avoid the common communication mistakes most women make in relationships that cause men to WITHDRAW and get "scared off".

Learn To Avoid Communication Mistakes That Make Him Run

If you're insecure, scared, and uncertain, and you're asking a man questions such as,

"How do you feel about me?"

Or...

"Where's this going?"

Or...

"Are you serious about us?"

Then you're making the kind of mistakes that are proven to make men become MORE RESISTANT to opening up, communicating, and committing for a secure and certain relationship.

In short, you need to learn how to communicate and behave with a man in a way that makes him feel, on a deep level, that you are the one he should be deeply committed to.

Go here now to read more and start learning how to move from that "casual", uncertain, and emotionally distant place with a man and grow into a deeply connected and committed relationship:

Are You "Fully There" With Your Man?

There might be a few other things you're doing that make a man feel a little strange when he's with you and around you (this is just a guess, as most people, men and women, have things they could improve when it comes to communicating).

Maybe you're acting a little too "needy", as you said. Maybe you're acting too "helpless" and you're waiting for him to tell you that everything is going to be ok and "save you".

And maybe YOU are the one who isn't "present" in your mind when you're with him. Your mind is worrying about what happened in the past, or what's going to happen in the future... and therefore you don't do anything that makes things better and happen NOW.

Think about it.

Men expect women to be a kind of "emotional leader" in relationships. Women often bring a deeper and richer emotional aspect to a man's life than he has anywhere else.

Remember, HE'S THE MAN. He's the one who wants to feel good by winning a woman over and making her feel great. And when a man sees that you feel great, then he'll feel great, too... and EVERYTHING ELSE will almost magically get easier.

Getting Yourself In The Best "Mindset" For Love

You need to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your thinking, behavior, and communication that make you see more of his behaviors and responses that scare you and make you feel and act even more needy and scared.

Help yourself by breaking that self-defeating and destructive cycle you are reinforcing for yourself.

And to answer your question "What can I do to relax and enjoy things?"...

My favorite thing that works in my own life, and works for LOTS of women I know, is the simple act of breathing.

Do me a favor right now:

I want you to sit up straight, notice your posture, pull your shoulders back, relax your neck and then slowly take a long deep breath in.

Keep breathing in until air fills your lungs. Once you fill your lungs with air, pause for a second. And now I want you to exhale slowly and deeply all the way out until all the air in your lungs has been pushed out.

Imagine all the feelings, tension, stress, and worry from your day being pushed out of you with the air that leaves your body. Relax your body even more as you breathe out.

Now I want you to breathe in and do this over two more times. Becoming more and more relaxed and clear-headed each time.

I'll wait while you do it.

..

..

Ok. I know there's no "magic answer" here, but my point is that if you are already aware of the emotions, feelings, and behaviors that are getting in your way, and you're NOT DOING anything about it... then you need to change the way that you are DOING things... and not just what you're thinking.

I can honestly say I've yet to meet someone, myself included, who has said or done something regrettable after those deep breaths - while they were in a calm, relaxed state.

Communicating With Him... The Easy Way

In the seminars I teach, we do several communication exercises that not only encourage the same type of "pause" and clarity that you might have just felt, but I get deep into the specific "How To's" and "What to say when's."

Your emotional state and your choice of words say SO MUCH about you, and believe it or not, if you feel something, even though you don't say it, men see it and sense it inside you.

If what you're communicating "under the surface" in your emotions isn't working together with your words to draw a man in and create ATTRACTION, then you're going to get a lot of resistance... and a lot less understanding, connection, and affection.

...And if you're reading this right now and you'd like to be learning how to quickly and easily communicate with a man in a way that makes him feel an INTENSE level of ATTRACTION for you, and get him to want to get close to you and ask YOU to open up.... then I HIGHLY recommend that you check out my Natural & Lasting Attraction program.

This program will TRANSFORM your understanding of how to use your words and your emotions to attract a man and move things ahead almost effortlessly.

Create the kind of attraction that will have him asking YOU to be with him and only him:

And if you haven't taken the time to go and download my eBook Catch Him & Keep Him, then you need to do that immediately.

It's a great place to start off with my materials.

You can download it right now, and be reading it in literally MINUTES. It will teach you a TON about how to "get inside a man's mind".

So many women make their own lives and relationships harder than they need to be by not learning the basic foundations of how men view love, connection, attraction and relationships.

Take the first step to improving your communication with the man in your love life and start sending all the right messages... the messages he'll hear and actually listen and respond to with open arms.

You'll be glad you did. Go download it here now:

I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.

Jason

P.S.In my Natural & Lasting Attraction program, you'll learn why you can't count on a man to figure out the dating and relationship "issues" between you two... and what to do instead that will save you months or YEARS of pain and frustration from having to do all the work yourself.

You'll learn how to craft a plan that's right and appropriate for YOU and your specific situation, so that you can begin seeing an immediate difference in the way your man acts and talks around you.

He won't be able to help himself from wanting to get closer and closer with you.

Don't wait another minute to get this valuable program for yourself at absolutely NO RISK. You can try it without risk, and cancel it if you're not happy: