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Dear Friend,
The older I get, the more I realize that most life stories can be told in more than one way.
We can tell the story of disappointments, losses, difficulties, and things that didn’t go according to plan.
Or we can tell the story of friendships, opportunities, laughter, lessons, unexpected kindness, and all the ways life worked out better than we imagined.
Both stories may be true.
The question is: Which one do we spend the most time telling?
Personally, I have a hard time remembering many of the bad things that have happened to me. Maybe that’s selective memory, but I am not in any hurry to fix it.
I naturally try to focus on how things are going well—or how they could go well.
That doesn’t mean I never get negative. Of course I do. Sometimes I find myself thinking about something that isn’t working, replaying a frustrating conversation, or worrying about what might happen next.
But I try to make those visits as short as possible.
I don’t believe we should ignore a problem that needs our attention. We should deal with it, learn what we can, and make whatever changes are necessary. I just don’t think we need to give that problem permanent space in our minds.
I’ve also noticed how easy it is for conversations with friends to begin with everything that’s going wrong.
We talk about our health problems, the people who are bothering us, the state of the world, or the latest thing that didn’t go as planned.
There’s nothing wrong with being honest about what we’re going through. We all need people we can talk to when life is difficult.
But if every conversation begins and ends with our problems, those problems can start to feel like our whole life.
Louise Hay used to remind us that we tend to get more of what we think about—whether we want it or not—so we should be careful about where we place our attention.
That is probably why Louise kept positive affirmations around her house. She understood that even the most positive person needs reminders.
Our minds can easily return to fear, worry, and old disappointments. A simple affirmation helps us interrupt that pattern and choose a different thought.
So this week, before you begin a conversation by sharing what’s wrong, try sharing one thing that’s going right.
It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic. Maybe you slept well. Maybe someone called at just the right time. Maybe you enjoyed your morning coffee, finished something you’d been putting off, or had a good laugh with someone you love.
And before you go to bed, ask yourself three questions:
What went well today?
What is one good memory I want to keep alive?
What could go well tomorrow?
This might sound simple, but I promise it’s powerful.
We can’t control everything that happens to us. But we have more say than we realize about what we revisit, what we repeat, and what we expect.
Your life is not only the hard things you have endured.
It is also every act of kindness, every person who loved you, every chance you took, every lesson you learned, and every joyful moment that helped you become who you are today.
Make sure you give those memories some airtime too.
Have a great week.
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
P.S. Here’s an affirmation to keep nearby this week:
I choose to notice the good in my life, and I expect more good to come.
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