the lie we've been sold about loving our lives

Hi friend!
 

Two weeks ago I sent you an email about the self love club evolving and the idea I've been sitting with: building a life you respect.

 

If you're still here, I'm guessing something resonated.

 

So I want to push a little further – because the language we've been sold as of late for "a life you love" is, honestly, kind of a lie.

 

Instagram tells us a life you love is a destination. A morning routine. A view. A version of yourself that's finally arrived. And if you're still struggling, still tired, still grieving, still figuring it out — well, you must not be doing it right yet.

 

I don't believe that. And I can confidently say I don't want to focus solely on a life I love.

 

Because a life you love isn't a life without hardship. It's a life where you've built enough internal structure that you can hold the hardship and the joy at the same time. Grief and ambition. Chronic pain and meaningful work. Exhaustion and a deep sense that this life is fully your life. Not just what you've been told or sold.

 

And loving it isn't a feeling you arrive at. It's something you do. Every day. In small, mostly invisible ways. Keeping your word to yourself. Building structure that fits the way you actually work. Making decisions from alignment instead of approval. Refusing to abandon yourself for the version of success that looks good from the outside.

 

That's what I mean when I talk about building a life you respect. Not a life that looks impressive. A life you've actually built — with your hands, your honesty, your willingness to choose yourself even when it's hard.

 

This is the work I'm doing now. With some of you one-on-one, in my writing, in my own life.

 

I'm writing about it weekly on Substack. If you want to follow along, that's where I explore further and the deeper conversation lives.

 

The self love club was always about this. I just didn't have the language for it yet.

 

Now I do.

 

And I invite you join me in building a life you respect.