Lemonade Wisdom 🍋 The Blank Page

The exhale I have been waiting for finally came... in the form of an insurance policy for OMB. As I always say, "it's the little things," but in this case, it's pretty big. 

We are secure for another year. A better policy than we have ever had, with a reputable company, and no fine print designed to silence me. After everything that unfolded over the past several months… I am still here.

We are still here.

I have been sitting with that.

Letting it land.

Absorbing every kind word, every prayer, every contribution, every message that found its way to me during one of the hardest stretches I can remember. You showed up in a way that I will never forget.

Now, with room to breathe for the first time in a long time, I find myself somewhere familiar.

The blank page.

I want to tell you a little bit about who I was before OMB. Before the books, before the coaching, before the rallies and the legislation and the courtroom hallways. Because I think it matters right now.

I was born to teenage parents. My earliest years were shaped by instability, addiction, and poverty. At nine years old, after my dad's second divorce, I experienced homelessness. We lived out of a truck, in tents, and at several points I was sent to stay with friends or family members. It was not a stable childhood by any measure.

But somewhere in the middle of all of that… I found my footing.

At 14, I started my first business. Chocolate lollipops. I remember pushing past every insecurity, walking into businesses, delivering my pitch to complete strangers who had no particular reason to say yes. Some of them did. That girl… the one who believed in herself enough to show up anyway… she has been on my mind a lot lately.

I have been financially on my own since I was 17. No support. No safety net. I put myself through community college while building a pet-sitting business from scratch. One flyer. One relationship at a time. That business eventually employed 13 people across two counties.

I have always known how to build things.

When I met my ex-husband, I was pressured into selling that business. Together we started another one. But he was a master manipulator in life and with money and numbers… and he ran it into the ground. When his façade came crashing down, I also lost another business I had started. We filed bankruptcy. My credit was destroyed. I had less than $200 to my name.

I was 34 years old, newly single, with two little girls depending on me for everything.

My car was weeks away from repossession. I was picking up our meals from a food pantry. I remember sitting with a check engine light that had been on for months… praying it would miraculously go off on its own because I could not afford the repair bill.

I have been rock bottom.

I remember the day I posted on Facebook in 2009: "I am in need of a job, if you know of anyone hiring… let me know." It felt terrifying. I had always done my own thing. I had no idea what jobs I was even qualified for. Someone in the community saw that post and offered me an interview. I walked into an entry-level position at a marketing firm, got my foot in the door, and from there I managed multiple accounts, did travel writing on the side, blogged, and eventually landed at a PR agency. I was working three contract jobs simultaneously. Doing whatever it took to keep us afloat.

In the middle of all of that… I was helping other moms navigate the family court system...for free. Because I cared. Because I was them. It was those very moms who first told me I should start charging for my time.

By 2014, I made the decision to take a leap of faith and devote myself to OMB full-time. I could not manage both any longer. OMB had grown to the point where it required everything I had. I opened that decision up to this community back then… and you caught me. For over a decade, we have held each other up. The trust in me…there are truly no words for what that has meant to me.

I share all of this because I find myself at a crossroads again today. The blank page is not new to me.

The smear campaigns and coordinated harassment I have been subjected to over the past two-plus years have taken a real and lasting toll. Stepping back from OMB in February was not entirely a decision I made… it was a decision that was made for me. By my doctor. I am grieving something that was never just a job or a platform. It was the thing I built out of the rubble of the hardest years of my life. I have heard from so many of you, that OMB has been your lifeline during some pretty dark moments. 

The version of OMB that called out judges and professionals by name, coordinated rallies, pushed for legislative change… that version no longer feels safe or sustainable for me. There is grief that comes with that. This was not my choice. I am doing my best to trust the process… but that trust is a daily practice, not a destination I have arrived at.

Here is what I am sitting with openly, because this community has never belonged to me alone. It has always been ours.

It is not financially sustainable for me to continue at OMB full-time. It is likely that I am going to need to return to work in some capacity… and I won't pretend that doesn't feel disorienting after more than a decade of pouring myself into this. I don't even know what that looks like yet. Figuring out what I am qualified for feels strangely familiar… like that Facebook post in 2009 all over again. I am also navigating health issues which are a factor in my job search but...if you know of a company hiring... be sure to let me know. <3 

I have received offers to purchase OMB. I am not ruling that out but it would have to land in the right hands. Someone who understands what this community is, who will protect what we have built, and who will continue showing up for the people who need this most.

I am also asking myself the harder questions.

Does the OMB name still fit? Has it served its purpose, or does it still hold meaning for the person who is just now finding their way here in the middle of the worst chapter of their life? Should it evolve into something different… a resource hub, a living archive of tools and research and navigation and collective wisdom? I don't have answers. What I have is fifteen years of watching this community do extraordinary things together, and a deep belief that whatever comes next, we figure it out the same way we always have.

Together.

I am being vulnerable and letting you in…because your voice matters in what comes next.

I am trying to channel my 14-year-old self right now. The one with the chocolate lollipops and the audacity to walk into a room full of strangers and believe that what she had was worth something. I know that girl is still in here somewhere. Beneath the rubble.

So many of you are living your own version of this. Starting over. Staring at a blank page that someone else handed you. Trying to figure out what you are qualified for, what you are worth, what comes next… often at the mercy of someone else's choices and someone else's cruelty. By design, so many of us were made financially dependent, stripped of our autonomy, and left to figure out how to rebuild from nothing. 

I am being intentional right now about looking around me… at my family, at the incredible women in my life who know what it costs to still be standing, at this community, at the angels on this path. A gratitude list I am building slowly and on purpose, because it is easy to lose sight of how far we have come when the storm is still raging. There is always something to be grateful for, and when I reflect on all of life's storms, gratitude is what I've always leaned into. 

If it were up to you… what does the future OMB look like? Please reply and let me know, I love hearing from all of you. 

With love,

Tina

P.S.  Just a couple of things: 

I have started processing applications for the OMB state chapters after pushing pause last fall. If you haven't joined your state chapter, you can apply at www.ombchapters.com.

The Lemonade Power Retreat is coming up in November.  Survivors coming together with a collective nod that says, "I get it," is powerful - and I would love for you to join us! 

The High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program starts again in August. If you are a survivor who wants to turn your lived experience into something that changes lives, this is the path.

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