A Psychologist’s Better Alternative to Work-Life Balance

Instead of trying to perfectly balance your day, Dr. Steele-Wren focuses more on mental separation. “If I’m working, I try to actually focus and get something meaningful done. If I’m off, I try to actually be off.”

There’s real psychology behind this too: research on “psychological detachment” has found that mentally switching off from work is strongly linked to lower stress and better wellbeing. 

Try it yourself this week: focus on creating clearer boundaries between “on” time and “off” time, even if the split isn’t always equal.

​Dr. Stephanie Steele-Wren, Licensed Psychologist

Psychologist Dr. Stephanie Steele-Wren usually wakes at around 6.30-7.00am, without an alarm. “Who really even needs an alarm clock when you have a toddler?” she says. The first thing she does? Avoids her phone. “If I do check it, the day immediately feels like I’m reacting instead of actually choosing what to do.”

The Routine:

• Starts slowly. “I open the blinds, get the kettle on, and give myself a few quiet minutes before the day starts demanding things from me.”

• Moves a little. “Movement for me is less about pushing hard and more about staying functional. Gentle stretching or light movement helps keep everything from getting stiff or out of place and makes the rest of the day easier. This is crucial for my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.”

• Coffee and thinking time. “This is usually the calmest (and briefest) part of the day. It’s when I can think clearly before things get busy and demanding of me.”

• Decides what actually matters. “I try to pick a couple of things that would make the day feel like a win. Otherwise it’s easy to stay busy without really making progress, which just isn’t great for my ADHD either.”

Why it works:

• Research shows that gentle stretching and movement helps maintain joint range of motion, improves circulation, and prevents us from getting all stiff and creaky!

• Even a few quiet, interruption-free minutes can help our brains feel less overloaded and make it easier to focus. Research shows constant interruptions and multitasking can quickly drain mental energy.

• Picking just a couple of priorities can make the day feel a lot less mentally cluttered. Research also shows people with ADHD often do better with fewer decisions.