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Hi -,
There’s a certain kind of Tuesday that deserves an award. The kind where your kid melts down before school, your bank account suddenly develops a personality disorder, your partner says “we need to talk,” and somewhere in the middle of it all your car makes a sound that should only come from dying farm equipment.
And there it is. Another. Fucking. Growth. Opportunity. AFGO. Life hands them out like cheap flyers on a street corner.
Some are tiny: The friend who disappoints you. The email that triggers your insecurity. The moment you realize you’re once again explaining your boundaries to someone who heard them perfectly the first time.
Others arrive like wrecking balls. Divorce. Illness. Burnout. A panic attack in the supermarket while choosing avocados, because apparently the nervous system has a sense of humor.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about growth opportunities: You are absolutely allowed to hate them. You are allowed to roll your eyes at the universe. You are allowed to say, “No thank you, I’ve grown enough this month.” You are allowed to feel angry, exhausted, resistant, bitter, dramatic, human. Growth is not always a glowing spiritual montage with acoustic guitar music in the background.
But the one thing we cannot do with AFGOs is avoid them. Because avoided pain does not disappear. It shape-shifts. It becomes reactivity. Numbness. Control. Anxiety. The same relationship wearing different clothes.
The annoying truth is that many AFGOs are not punishments. They are invitations. Clumsy invitations. Inconvenient invitations. Occasionally rage-inducing invitations. But invitations nonetheless.
An AFGO might be asking you to stop abandoning yourself. To finally grieve. To speak honestly. To rest. To ask for help. To stop building a life that looks successful but feels emotionally dehydrated.
Not every painful moment contains wisdom. But many do. And sometimes healing arrives disguised as the exact thing you didn’t order.
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