Good morning! This is my first communique to you since the Knicks were elected God. I’m the same, just happier.

Sounds true for many of you, too. This week, I asked readers if they’d hooked up with anyone during Knicksmania as the Finals swept the city. This was naïve. I sincerely cannot believe the caliber of responses — a wiser approach would have been, “How filthily, romantically, and ceaselessly did you get play because of the Knicks?” Below are your most thrilling postgame reports, in their fullest NC-17, heartstring-plucking, Anunoby-worshipping skanky glory. I’m awed by New York City. (Please know I received many more confessionals, including ones I couldn’t print because of the names that were very luridly named.) Ball really is life.

Now, I’m taking a break for two weeks to wring out my brain abroad. I’ll miss reading your ads, but I’ve preselected good ones to run next week alongside a strong installment of Both Sides of a First Date. After that, Personals will take a break for the Fourth. Don’t stop sending in ads, though! I’ll be so stoked to return and revitalize the love-connection section to its fullest possible powers, and I need your foxiest submissions in order to keep our summer running.

Place a date-wanted ad through this submission form, or email [email protected]. Consider them summer postcards to your next great love interest. As in, they take a little time to arrive, but are a thrill when they do make it to their destination. You won’t be sorry. I’ll set upon these with ferocious excitement as soon as I’m back. Next week: The Cut’s executive editor, the great Marisa Carroll, is stepping in to say hello, too. See you soon, true romancers! — Amy Rose Spiegel, senior editor, The Cut

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Thank You to Jalen Brunson for My Craziest Orgasm in 27 Years of Life

We actually met off of Hinge the day before. He came to visit me at work, then we made plans for after the game. He’s from Scotland and was watching their game, and I was watching the Knicks. We agreed to a celebratory makeout at Nowadays if both teams won. And they did! I think we probably would have hooked up anyways, but the win gave us an excuse, and made it so much more fun.

He’s mysterious, but free with compliments, and generous; he bought my ticket to Nowadays, and my drinks all night. He has sexy arms and an accent that made my knees weak. Lots of dancing and chatting until 4:30 a.m, then we went back to his Airbnb where … I squirted for the first time in my life.

A defining part of the experience in my mind. A cherry on top of a perfect night. He was very proud of himself. Unclear if his AirBnb hosts will be equally thrilled. Thank you to Jalen Brunson for bringing the city our first championship in 53 years, and bringing me my craziest orgasm in 27 years of life. And what a perfect New York experience for my date! —Daisy, 27, Crown Heights

A Historic Night at Athena Keke’s

Game 4 of the Finals was the biggest comeback in NBA Finals history. It was also a historic night for a New York lesbian at Athena Keke’s, a women’s sports bar in Brooklyn. While out with friends, I noticed a super attractive person standing by a wall. I tried not to stare. I don’t normally feel drawn to people out in the wild. She was just different. 

By halftime, we were down by 30. People started leaving the bar. Fortunately, this led to the hottie by the wall taking a spot right next to me at my friends’ table. Suddenly, there were two things I was locked in on. As the game went on, I said, “New York is so dramatic. She is for the drama. And it’s all gonna be fine.” Hottie turned around and asked who said that, and my friends pointed to me and said, “Olivia!” Hottie replies, “You’re so right, Olivia, I love that!” Suddenly, the Knicks are closing their horrendous gap. The bar starts feeling alive again. You can feel the energy in the air. I say, “We only need to win by ONE! One point is all it takes.” AGAIN this person turns around, calls me by my name, and agrees. 

The Knicks DID win the game by one point, in the final seconds. I’ll never forget the explosion of applause, high fives, and hugs. My crush said, “You manifested this, Olivia!” As she got up to go, I said, “Wait, you know my name, but I don’t know yours!” She told me it was Anna. I asked, “Are you single?” Yes, she was, and yes, I could get her number. She even gives me a cheeky little “call me” hand signal as she leaves.

As soon as Anna’s out the door, my friends and I go crazy. That night, I text, “heyyy it's olivia!! so glad i manifested that energy for the win. now i’m manifesting a date with you.” I fall asleep proud of putting myself out there. When I wake up: “you don't need to manifest. it’s in the books already. just a practicality of where when how.” That night, in typical lesbian fashion, dinner reservations turned into 24 hours together. Happy Pride, Knicks in 5. —Olivia, 30, Bed-Stuy

WAIT. WAIT A SECOND. IS THIS…?! I’M SCREAMING? I’M AGOG.
[collecting myself]
A Historic Night at Athena Keke’s: Anna’s Version

I made an impromptu decision to go straight from work to Athena Keke’s to watch the game surrounded by queer beauties (Pride month, so killing two birds with one stone). A few drinks in, with the Knicks down 29, I joined a table of three girls who looked like friends. One, a Black girl in a cute outfit with nicely done braids, caught my eye.

The three girls were actively talking during the game, and I overheard a perfect comment: “We’re New Yorkers! We live for the drama and thrive in the hustle.” 

“Who said that?” I inquired. Two of them pointed to the Black girl in braids. “Olivia!” My only reaction: “Chef’s kiss” to Olivia. The game proceeded, and so did the feeling that the ring  was slipping from our fingers. Grumpy, frustrated faces started to settle their checks and head out, but I wanted to believe there must be a way… Again, a perfect comment from Olivia: “They only need to win by one point.” Optimism like hers drives energy and manifesting, and she was on point, and on a roll. 

Well. Little Miss Cutie got the score right. The bar erupted in cheers, but I needed to get the hell out of there — way past my curfew. I packed my bag and headed out, only to be intercepted midway, by a hand on my arm. “Well, you know my name, what’s yours?” I responded. I was curious! This was an atypical interaction, since I’m usually the one with the bold moves. “Are you single?” she asks. gladly answer yes, I am. “Can I have your number?” By God, yup, yeah, you sure can, Little Miss Cutie. And the rest, my dear reader? Well…the classic 24-hour lesbian date, with many more to come. And now we’ve been on two dates. With two sleepovers. Looking forward to the next one, and I hope it’s soon. —Anna, 41, Bed-Stuy

A Knicks’d Connection! (If you know him — or are him! — write to [email protected] with the subject line LISTERINE STRIPS.)

And more of this story...

When the Knicks won Game 2, I was out with friends. It was the bar’s 10th anniversary, and they had a surprise open bar for an hour. Incredible stuff.  We got carried away and were rowdier than usual because the game was so great.

At the end of the game, my friend, who NEVER goes out, was like, “I’m not leaving this bar until you kiss a stranger.” I’d interacted with this man briefly in the bathroom line and made eye contact at one other point, so I zeroed in on him and just went for it. I asked permission first! He said, “Right now?” and I said yes.

I truly had like five Listerine Strips stuck to the roof of my mouth. Afterward, I just said, “Knicks in Four.” I pointed “goodbye” at him across the bar a little while later.

I think he may have been at the same bar for Game 5, but I wasn’t positive it was him! I was going to approach, but one of my friends partied too hard and we had to walk him home. The end… for now. I wrote a Missed Connection. —Kat, 35, Ridgewood

I Got Back With My Ex?

We started texting again last week. Had plans to watch the game together even though we changed plans and met up the night before. Decided we wanted to give things another try on Friday. Ended up watching the game together in his neighborhood on the UES and then celebrated in the streets before going back to his and having our own party. I think we were bound to find our way back to each other. —Blair, 37, Greenpoint

Love and Basketball, But Different

She’s a Knicks fan, I’m a writer, and the big Knicks run feels extra-poetic for us at the moment. After our first date, our communication dried up. But in the wake of depressing Game 3, our texts started flying again, and in the aftermath of hope-restoring Game 5, we met up again and got even more honest about our hopes and shared desire to evade the unserious daters who keep looking for something new. Now, we’ve got a whole summer ahead of us. She says she’s optimistic we won’t foul out. —Jack, 39, “NYC OG,” Chinatown

A Knicks Mixer Broke Her Dry Spell

To help bring in the Knicks in 5, my friend threw a singles mixer on her rooftop. Okay, fine: We planned the mixer before the 14-day period where we became Knicks fans, and the only way men would show up was if we promised to play the game. So there we were, a handful of girls, two bed sheets — Best Buy was sold out of projector screens Saturday — a steamer, and enough Modelo to feed a small army. We were ready to meet the men. A Knicks Finals mixer ended up being just the thing to lure hot, fit, single men onto my friend’s roof. By the end of the first quarter, there were eight women and at least 15–20 men crowding around the sheet, smoking American Spirit blues and flirting during commercials.

I spotted the nerdy hedge fund lawyer I’d first bombed an interaction with at a different party by being too sober and chatting about our friend's dead husband. Worry not, Personals readers! I also bombed my second interaction with him at the mixer, opening with the fact that sometimes I look up the endings of movies while I’m in the theater. Of course, Hedge Fund Lawyer previously worked at a movie theater for seven years and was verrrrry passionate about the sacred art of filmmaking. I recovered by bonding with him over If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You being robbed of a Best Picture nomination. Sadly, he had to dip out of the game for a house-warming party (he pulled up the Partiful to prove himself), so I gave him my number and resigned myself to actually watching the Knicks. 

I had more chats with other suitors, but Hedge Fund kept texting me from his house party and stealing my attention away. When the Knicks won, the night became utter madness. Our group paraded to Saint Marks to participate in the revelry. Maybe it was because I started the evening stating I was hoping for a victory kiss. Or maybe it was because I was wearing my hand-embroidered Knicks top that I’d worked on for two days straight. But when Hedge Fund texted asking me to come to Queens and celebrate by helping him win a beer pong tourney, I found myself in an Uber over the Queensboro. After a quick round of intros with his high school friends, we left to follow the Knicks’ example and end my own dry spell. 

He showed me the pilot episode of Lovesick (absurdly, he claimed it was funnier than How I Met Your Mother) and then showed me to his bedroom. Bead-embroidered top stayed on — Hedge Fund said my hard work was to be admired (and I think he was terrified to break it). Hedge Fund earned the title of Mr. Great at Head, Despite Small Penis. (Maybe Because, not Despite?) Around 5 a.m., I stumbled out of my Uber in sleep-deprived psychosis, let my dog out, gave myself my next dose of a GLP-1 I got online, and thought about if this Knicks victory was a one-time thing, or they might be able to repeat it next year. Would I? —Joan, 28, Union Square

Don’t Tell Ellie About This

I hooked up with people after most games. Games 4 and 5 were the craziest. Game 4 coincided with the local lesbian night. A bunch of drunk dykes in New York, right after the most insane comeback in NBA Finals history. Everyone was super gay and horny. I must have made out with six women and took one home. 

Game 5 ALSO coincided with Brooklyn pride down in Dyke Slope so again, drunk dykes celebrating. I trieeeeed to remain celibate at least for the night because the celebration for the Knicks winning it all for me was a lesbian orgy the day after.

My god, I don’t know if the lesbian community will ever recover from me tearing through it like this. Hell, I’ve hooked up with a few straight girls, too. Post-victory, every woman in NYC is trying to get dicked down by a beautiful trans woman, and who am I to deny the demand? —Leslie, 31, “Long Island City, but sexually active in all five boroughs”

“Perhaps My Karma.”

Born and raised New Yorker, so, very big Knicks fan. I hadn’t spoken to my ex-situationship in two months, but was feeling just so happy after the championship win that I texted asking where he was watching the game. Next thing I know, we drunkenly stumble home to his apartment. I woke up and immediately threw up in his bathroom. Perhaps my karma. I try not to go back to old flames, so we haven’t spoken since, but, honestly, it was such an exciting, fun night that I don’t regret it! —Zoe, 26, West Village

They Went Home Together, Then the Knicks Won the Championship. You Do the Math

I went home with a guy I met at Canal Bar during Game 4. My secret: I recognized him as someone I’d ghosted before on at least one app. Not in a malicious way — we talked once or twice, but I dropped the ball. He was more attractive in person than in his app photos — chemistry does wonders.

We spent the entire time that we were losing talking to each other, not looking at the screen, then the last five minutes actually watching the game. We joked about superstition and feeling like it was our fault whenever they missed, which is why we ended up chatting instead of paying attention. When we did get back to the game, they turned it around. So, yeah, you can thank us for that comeback…

We hit it off! He had a very kind vibe. Before we went home, my friend pulled me aside and was like, "I like this one. You should marry him.” We’ll see about that, but it would make a fun wedding story. I probably will see him again some time this week! He texted me. I almost forgot to give him my number in the morning, lmfao. —Jules, 28, Gowanus

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Ads run for four weeks and are free, but we can't print every one we receive. The more specificity and character in your ad, the likelier it is to run. The Cut’s terms of submission apply to all messages.

BRAIN-SLICING CUTIE 27FNB, Brooklyn. Relatively tall and inquisitive, seeking 27–33 sexy person who will match my sense of whimsy. Must be willing to jump in large bodies of water, down to look foolish trying something out of your wheelhouse (hacky sack?), and know how to cook at least two different proteins. Let’s take a yoga class together and be serious about L-O-V-E. [email protected]

CARPE DIEM ENTHUSIAST 36M seeks 30-40F who owns shoes for many activities. Sweat with me at the sauna, a weekend bike trip, or a rental kayak in a warm country whose language we don’t speak. Let’s read good fiction in coffee shops, watch cringey reality TV with the curtains closed, and take turns at sous chef for NYT recipes. I fall for a grounded woman with high ambition, agency, and openness. @butler.paul

GEORGIA PEACH, BIG APPLE 29F, born and raised in GA, moved to NYC after medical school. I do love a good "y'all" — that's probably the most Southern thing about me, bless my little progressive heart. Final-year resident with a surplus of free time on the horizon and plans to use it wisely. Rooftop movie night hostess, roller skating neophyte, #1 NYC Ferry stan, mother of two kitties, unapologetic karaoke-a-holic. Seeking smart, driven, goofy, and fun- a "yes, and"-er who will zing me back! Non-smoking section. All genders welcome, ages 29–40. [email protected]

FRAGMENT OF A STAR 21F, Providence, seeks a cooler than ice partner-in-crime, 21–24M, to perfect the heist of the century: my heart. I’m an F1 racer of carts at the grocery store, a not-so-stealthy secret agent sent to bring joy, wishing to be princess of your palace, and your soon-to-be biggest supporter. If you’re the authoritative, yet affectionate type, a natural romantic, and ever-witty, add me to your list of accolades!  EARTH, MILKY WAY, [email protected]

ADVENTUROUS GRAPHIC DESIGNER with jet-black hair, 28F, NYC, seeks someone who enjoys going to listening rooms, designer closet/furniture sales, diving into magazine archives, and dancing until the city feels like a film set. I believe in romanticizing life, whether at home curled up with a good design book and dim lighting or working out together. It’s important to find the magic between the stillness and the untamed. If you’re ready for someone you can be present with and leave the masks behind, let’s talk. @rachelrubi

BEAUTIFUL CITY DISTRACTION 38F Black bi woman seeking 25–45 any gender, preferably other Black or brown people. Dealing with unusual heartbreak right now (I've been in therapy long enough to not put any of that on you) and would love to explore the city while the world burns. I don't care for sports, but will listen if you do. I love comedy, galleries, food, films, and the woo. [email protected]

GROUNDED MASCULINE FEMINIST Pediatrician girl-dad, 52M, NJ. 5'9" with an active and healthy lifestyle. On the lookout for a 40s–50sF who finds happiness from within, has truly done the work, embodies all that is beautiful about being a woman (and who’s had enough life experience to know I’m not being reductionist). If you’re a mom, awesome, but not required. Must be legally divorced (that last stage of closure and healing matters). No ENM/poly — we won’t have time with what we’re going to build. [email protected]

LET'S LIVE DELICIOUSLY 40F, writer, Los Angeles (open to long distance), looking to unlock the story of my own IRL love affair. Seeking romance & an equitable partner in the streets, but a pleasure dom in the sheets, 30–50M. (I'll never call you daddy, but I will purr like a kitten for you.) We’ll share belly laughs into the night, search for the perfect martini, and eat through my home cooking while goofin' on TV shows (you do the dishes). Perhaps we can fall in love and live the bicoastal dream? Simpsons quotes are a shortcut to my heart. [email protected] 

LEFTY JEWISH FEMME 30F, Brooklyn, bisexual with a little dog. Voracious reader, thrift-shopper, restaurant-hopper, extroverted introvert. Looking for a partner of any gender, 28–35, who’s down to co-host dinner parties, go dancing, read in bed, hike upstate, and learn to surf. Must be (enthusiastically) willing to dissect Love Island, Virginia Woolf and [insert geopolitical crisis]. Looking for that elusive combo of a fun, yet serious relationship that builds naturally over time. [email protected]

FRECKLED, FLEXIBLE, FORTHRIGHT 33F Asian American Brooklynite originally from Seattle, still clinging to my West Coast identity after a decade in NYC. I’m nurturing my creative side, spending more time outdoors (long runs and hikes), and always looking for my next favorite book. Seeking the real deal: 30–45M, offbeat jokes, mutual growth, and someone to hold my hand through park hangs, concerts, and cultural outings. @bookspluscoffee / [email protected]

36 ICE CREAM FLAVORS and counting. I make them at home, and I’ve defeated Baskin AND Robbins. Tell me what flavor you want. Jew-ish, far left 35M, Brooklyn, seeking 20s–30sF similarly into food, cinema, literature, parks, travel, keeping active, theater, art, games, and museums. I want something serious and to form a family, but not in a scarily intense way. Let’s compare NYC bucket lists. If you don’t love science and history trivia, you’ll at least need to be willing to hear a lot of it. I can’t believe this email wasn’t taken: [email protected]

NATHAN FIELDER ENTHUSIAST 37F, Brooklyn, seeking 30–48M for reverse Rumspringa. Shrink by day who fantasizes about churning butter in the woods. I love Azaelia Banks’ Twitter, Pilates, climbing, Szechuan food, and going to bed by 11 p.m. Most compatible with those who are smart, active, ambitious, quirky, and have a wacky sense of humor. I’m eligible for an EU passport — hopefully, you’re down to clown in Europe. [email protected]

BIZARRE BON VIVANT 30M, bi, NYC, seeks enfant terrible 26–40, any gender, for chic tête-à-tête over moules et frites. Let’s drop acid at La Boheme or sing Les Mis till they kick us out of LPQ. I don’t speak French, but imagine if I could… [email protected]

TALL BUSTY BLONDE 39F seeks 30–50M who reads past sensationalist headlines. I’m a pessimistic socialist and sometime writer looking to have a fun outdoor summer with a pre-COVID flavor. Let’s get eaten by bugs at a BRIC concert; let’s watch the Coney Island sunset with our Crunchwrap Supremes. I love and work with kids, but I’m ultimately more of a cool aunt type. Message me if you have a favorite movie theater or Chekhov story. [email protected]

LESBIAN CREATIVE ISO MUSE 30F, Park Slope. Divorcée looking for a magnetic woman to be my lover and confidant, 25+F. I’m a multidisciplinary artist and designer; femme-leaning but andro; lover of parties, excitement, and a glass of orange wine at a dimly lit wine bar. You: appreciator of the arts, well-read, hate AI, serious about love but down for a messy makeout on the dance floor. Must appreciate both reality TV and foreign film; be leftist and switchy. Masc-leaning preferred. Bonus points for beautiful cheekbones. Let’s kiss at the next Strap? @cecilia.lurie

BRUNETTE BROOKLYN NOVELIST seeks daddy wife. Me: 35F, 5'7", pretty. Prefers dinner parties over the club, but will party on occasion. You: 33–45 masc-leaning lesbian who’s into the arts. Can hold your own in social situations. Gentle and patient, even during an argument. Will watch foreign films with me, and laugh at my 12-yr-old boy humor. Us: You cook; I chop vegetables and tell you all the gossip. [email protected]

TEMU FAYE WONG from Chungking Express, 29F, NYC, seeking 25–34 Tony Leung (or Temu equivalent), any gender, to rizz me at my workplace (my crib in Brooklyn ’cause I'm unemployed) while I loop my current hyperfixation (Fcukers’ latest album) on full blast. Won’t break into your apartment to rearrange your belongings, but wouldn’t mind if you broke into mine to rearrange my guts. If none of that landed, still hit me up: I’m just a lovelorn girl looking for someone to daydream about like it’s my day job. [email protected]

SENSE OR SENSIBILITY? 37M, seeking a lover of fun facts, quotes, jokes, limericks, and yarns in her 30s or 40s. Me: bookish but sporty, shy with areas of passionate opinion, spiritually bound to the ocean. Do you have a favorite Platonic dialogue or an account on the NYC Tree Map? Take a loop around the park with me sometime? [email protected]

WITTY FASHIONABLE WRITER and law student in Brooklyn, 27F, Black, 5’4”. Seeking 27–35M with style and intelligence. Must be able to name the last time they checked out a book from their local library. When it comes to humor, like a martini, drier is better. I'll cook if you clean (or vice versa). The perfect date would be dinner, a film at Metrograph and then a jazz bar, or if the weather's nice, just wandering Prospect Park. Open to all cultures, but seafood haters need not apply. [email protected]

CACTUS-LOVING, HIGH-ON-LIFE WIDOW 68F seeks Tuscon-based male companionship for my second chapter, 65–70, to ride into the sunset with. Must love animals. Preferably vegan and Jewish/spiritual. I know you're out there somewhere! Come find me and let’s enjoy life together. [email protected]

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