It’s Emmy nominations day, and I’m already picking the winners. Also: How should a bagel be? And a machine for making frozen cocktails. |
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Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Apple, HBO
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As someone who watches a lot of TV, I am heavily invested in the Emmy Awards. So many of my close personal imaginary friends were nominated this morning, it’s overwhelming. Ineligible to be nominated for too-Canadian Heated Rivalry, Connor Storrie still managed to snag a nod for hosting SNL, where he showcased the top-notch clowning abilities described by Allison P. Davis in her definitive encapsulation of the burgeoning and influential L.A. clowning scene. Speaking of clowns, though, I’m going ahead and predicting that Kaitlin Olson will win Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series for Hacks.
That scene in the Amazing Race episode where she and Jean Smart, as her mom, Deborah Vance, had to perform a traditional Mexican clown dance and botch it repeatedly … Only a born physical comedian like Olson could have pulled that sequence off. Whatever you think of Hacks in general, you simply have to hand it to Olson for making DJ — a character who could have been annoying and one-note — hilarious and fully realized. It’s pretty bold of me to predict that she’ll win, given how stacked the category is. She’s up against four other Hacks actresses, all of whom turned in the performances of their respective lifetimes. (I’m even including Laurie Metcalf when I say that! Come at me!!)
Also stiff competition: Betty Gilpin for Widow’s Bay (love her, GLOW forever) and Jamie Lee Curtis for The Bear (whatever). But only Olson, as DJ, has put in the time and effort necessary to win over the Emmy voters over the course of her time on Hacks. It’s also her fourth Emmy nomination and her third for the role. They gotta give it to her this time. I’m placing my Polymarket bet now. (I’m not. I would never do that.)
Other Emmy nominations that I randomly care about: Boerum Hill’s hottest couple, Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell, are both nominated again, Rhys in two different categories for two different roles. Alan Cumming is nominated for hosting The Traitors, which I don’t watch but probably would love because I love him. Jeff Hiller got a richly deserved nod for making the absolute most of his scant amount of screen time in Pluribus. Meg Stalter and Hannah Einbinder go head-to-head in the Supporting Actress category for Hacks. Somewhat hilariously, Billy Crudup was recognized for his work in the best worst show on television, my beloved The Morning Show. Rhea Seehorn should win Best Actress in a Drama for Pluribus, and I say that with all due respect and gitchie gitchies to Carrie Coon.
The actual winners, and not just the winners of my heart, will accept their awards on September 14.
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Photo: Jacob Moscovitch and Vivie Behrens
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Lining up for fro-yo is almost comprehensible, but lining up for bagels, which can be procured just about anywhere without standing on line, is tougher to swallow. Still, the people love lines, and line up they will for PopUp Bagels, a 40-shop franchise with a social and partnerships director. While the mission of bringing decent bagels to locations where typically none can be found is laudable, Elizabeth G. Dunn did a deep dive into bagel history — it begins in 1600s Krakow — and found evidence that the “bagels” sold at PopUp are not, strictly speaking, even bagels at all. While they are baked on-site, they are formed in a commissary kitchen via a proprietary process that includes both people and machines. A true bagel, Elizabeth learned, must be rolled by hand.
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If I wanted to know the single greatest obstacle to making great bagels in Topeka or Tucson, [Utopia Bagels co-owner Jesse] Spellman said, it’s the rolling — a skilled craft he estimates would take a newcomer eight months to learn, and one long controlled by a small, insular labor pool. After New York’s original wave of Jewish immigrants came a Taiwanese and Thai cohort in the ’80s and ’90s, then a Dominican one, families in which fathers, uncles, cousins, and sons all rolled, teaching one another and passing down the trade. That meant a great bagel was, for decades, a fundamentally local product.
Sam Silverman, a New York bagel evangelist and President of BagelUp — a media-and-events company that runs bagel classes, tours, and the annual BagelFest — agrees with Spellman’s diagnosis. “There is a skilled labor pool that has existed in New York City and nowhere else since the late 1800s,” he told me. The old bagel-bakers’ union, he noted, deliberately kept the craft in the family — to learn the trade you had to be the son of a member — which built quality in New York while starving it everywhere else.
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For the people in Topeka et al. who are starved for anything remotely resembling a bagel, a PopUp might be a good enough substitute. There is, however, no valid excuse for eating one in New York City. |
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Invite Dominique Pariso to your next party and she will bring her Ninja SLUSHi, a cousin of the famous CREAMi that makes perfect, un-melty margaritas and daiquiris (and their virgin cousins) instead of CREAMi’s soft serve. She claims that it’s easy to take apart and clean. It costs $400, but it will make you popular. |
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So far, I’ve taken it with me to a going-away party in a Bed-Stuy backyard, a pool party on Long Island, and a Fourth of July barbecue. I’ve made mango and passion-fruit margaritas, fresh watermelon slushies, and frozen lemonade. While outdoor hosting has been a bit brutal this summer between the humidity, heat waves, and freak storms, the SLUSHi has been a reliable crowd-pleaser every single time. As Jimmy Buffett would remind us all, “But there’s booze in the blender / And soon it will render / That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.”
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Some people claim that I’m to blame for getting that song stuck in their head, but I know it’s Dominique’s fault. |
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Photo: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for The Recording Academy |
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Since I’m in charge of the Emmys, I can tell you next year will be dominated by The Shards. |
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A weekly dispatch on the cultural discourse. |
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https://link.nymag.com/oc/60bf85689b7a136e4b473b24roib2.mwi/8529f736
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