Do you need to get it off your “desk”? Enter: Per My Last Email, an anonymous series where we’re getting the real deal on how women feel about their careers—the frustrating struggles, the joyful moments, and everything in-between. Whether you’re looking for real advice or just validation that we’re possibly all going through it right now, find their responses below.

How old are you?

35

Where are you from?

Chicago Suburbs

What is your job?

Automation Engineer

What is your yearly income?

$110k

What is your relationship status?

Married for 1 year

Do you have any children?

I'm pregnant with my first and I have a 8yo dog

Did you attend college?

Yes

If yes, are you currently using your degree?

Yes, I got an electrical engineering bachelors degree. I work in automation, making/maintaining/improving factory machinery. I specialize in the coding of the machinery and troubleshooting coding issues.

What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I was a spacey kid without much of a plan. As a kid, I assumed I'd be a violinist, art teacher, or similar. When push came to shove, I wanted to choose a career that would allow me to be financially secure and independent. I was decent at math, so I gave engineering a try and it worked out!

What do you think your younger self would think of you today?

She would be impressed. I think no one would have predicted my career choice. I've also changed a lot as an adult due to influences when I lived in a more hippy/granola area in Madison, WI. I have chosen a lifestyle that is vegetarian and sober. I love gardening and I practice yoga weekly.

Do you love your work?

Sometimes, but not often. I enjoy trying to solve problems to help people with machinery. Solving an issue is the most rewarding part of my job.
I had a quarter-life crisis at age 25 when I was still in my first engineering job and I saw a life coach. I was considering perusing a career that was more creative and artistic, but she encouraged me to give engineering another chance at another job. For the most part, I'm glad I stayed in this career because it allowed me to afford to buy a house at age 30 and to get a dog when I was still single.

Do you think you should love your work?

I think not everyone is fortunate to do work they love. Obviously if you can, that's wonderful. For me, I like it sometimes and that's ok.
My worst work experiences have been when my manager is not right for me, if they ask me to give more of my time, or if they want me to act a way that is not natural to me, like being louder or more assertive. So it's less about the actual work and more about the people and culture.

What is your work-life balance like?

It's probably one of the things I'm best at. I don't stay longer than office hours unless I'm explicitly asked to. My work life is so different from my personal life, which helps me to turn off that part of my brain when I leave work.

What is one thing you had to learn the hard way?

A manager can make or break your work experience. Especially as a female in a male industry, I've found some male managers don't respect my demeanor or don't take me as serious as my male coworkers. So it's important to find a manager that you can sense respects you and sees value in you, especially when work gets hard.

What is something you wish you'd known early in your career?

As a female in engineering, I've found it helps to work at larger companies that have a more modern, official HR department and are likely to have more female employees. Small companies in male-dominated industries can sometimes be a boys club and HR might be minimal. So I've experienced that men get away with more inappropriate comments and haven't always appreciated my personality.

What is one piece of advice every woman needs to hear?

Two things - In my experience, counting calories was a never ending yo-yo of weight fluctuation. I've always been fairly in shape and petite, but I always felt like I needed to lose weight to be pretty. When I learned about intuitive eating (specifically Evelyn Tribole's version of it), it allowed me to begin to trust my body and hunger instincts and let go of counting calories and food/diet trends for good. I highly recommend learning more about this if your story is similar to mine.

The other thing is regarding my sobriety. I was not an alcoholic but I was unhappy with the hold alcohol had on my social and dating life. I would set out for happy hour with intentions to only have 1 but I would end up getting 2. And while others didn't see this as a problem, it developed a frustration and guilt that ate away at me. In 2023, I tried Dry January and after that decided to remain sober. It's the best decision I've ever made. It was scary to be social and date without alcohol, but I got used to it and eventually met my now husband who is also sober. You don't have to hit rock bottom to choose sobriety.

What's one thing you're struggling with? (at work or otherwise)

My baby is coming in August (another dream come true). I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. It would be an adjustment financially for my husband and I but we think we can maybe pull it off for a year or two. So I'm currently trying to decide how and when I will tell my employer that I might no return after maternity leave. I need to figure out if/how to confirm with HR if there are any financial repercussions. People online are split on advice if you should consult HR/manager before maternity.

What's one thing bringing you joy? (at work or otherwise)

Spring weather and seeing leaves and flowers again. I found a prenatal/postnatal yoga class I can attend in-person. Seeing how much my dog loves my husband.

Is there anything else you want to get off your chest/desk?

Besides having a well-paying job, the best financial advice I got was to save 20% of my paycheck, tithe 10% to the church (if you're into that), and live off the rest (70% for me). This allowed me to always live within my means and to build my savings to afford a house down payment. I only pay for gas with my credit card and my credit score is great, believe it or not.

I've had dreams to get married, have children, get a house and a dog since graduating college. At 30, I didn't have the husband or child, but I was able to get the house and the dog. I have no regrets about doing it alone and I don't think it affected my dating life. I met my now-husband at age 33 - my brother set us up! I got married at age 34 and am pregnant at age 35. If you're life is on a similar trajectory to mine, I want to encourage you that it can all still happen and to do the things that are within your reach, even if you do it alone.

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