Your Go-To College Drink Is Back 💃

Sure, it may only be Day 768 (sorry, 18) of the 2026 FIFA World Cup, but we’re ready to declare that one man has won the whole thing. No, not Merlin the Duck. We’d like to crown Erling Haaland — the Norwegian striker who, as The New Yorker put it, “plays with the effectiveness of a sovereign wealth fund” — our MVP. Of course, there’s the obvious: He scored four of Team Norway’s seven goals during the group stage, but he's been hilariously nonchalant about his own success and whether or not they’ll beat France. (We love an expectation-managing Himbo king.) The goofy dude even encouraged his teammates to lean into the “Viking Row,” a Scandinavian twist on the wave that Norwegian fans have done in the stands, on a crowded NYC subway car, and in the middle of Times Square (bet they're all thankful for that Norwegian healthcare system, ja?). 

But it’s Haaland’s performance off the pitch that has us reconsidering our stance on blond men. Yes, there’s his hair, which despite its unfortunate association with a certain Bravolebrity (who inspired who?), he seems to be extremely committed to (like, extremely). But Haaland has also been dubbed the internet’s “Hermès baddie,” thanks to an extensive collection that includes a Birkin inside a Birkin (a real thing). And something tells us he could rival Heidi Klum for Queen of Halloween. (See: The time he failed to disguise himself as the Joker and when he went undercover as Santa Claus). Plus, ever since he’s landed in the States, he’s basically cosplayed as a Study Abroad Girl™ — faking an accent, checking off NYC’s top tourist spots, even making a pilgrimage to America’s Best Deli (don’t @ us). But perhaps most impressive? He’s single-handedly convinced us to redownload Snapchat (this X post could not be more accurate). All to say, Erling, we apologize. We were truly unfamiliar with your game.